An open letter to my homies

I fear that I may be growing up or something as I have found myself in a world of introspection since my 31st birthday.  Like many others of my generation we are starting to ask ourselves some tough questions about what we want to do with our lives: what makes us happy, what we want out of a career, family, and relationships. And all of it is equally as important as it will lead to a balanced and fulfilling life in the end if we get it right.  It's the worry that maybe I'm getting it wrong that has led to all of this solitary thinking.

The cast of Golden Girls.  I'm 31, life hasn't been hard enough to age me this much.

 

I have had the same group of friends for ages.  I've known most of them longer than I knew life without them; that's a long-ass time! And as we have grown and changed we may not have done so in the same time or in the same direction.  Change will continue to occur for the rest of our lives.  We may find ourselves more connected at some times and more distant at others.  That's fine, that's the ebb and flow of life. What we have to try to remember is what friendship means. 





I've consulted my good friend, the Oxford Dictionary, for a working definition:  (noun)
-a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations:
-a person who is not an enemy or opponent; an ally
-a contact on a social networking website: 

Now all of this is well and good and most of my friends fit very neatly into this box.  Although I would argue just because someone has clicked a "friend" button on a website that doesn't actually make them your friend, nor does it mean that you're my friend just by way of not being my enemy.  And really, who has enemies these days?  This isn't a Shakespearean tragedy.

So that leaves us with the first part of the definition: a bond of mutual affection. So yes, while it's crucial for both people to have warm, fuzzy feelings about each other, I think it's the mutual expression of that bond that should be the focus. 

Elmyra: I'm gonna hug you and kiss you and love you forever [and never use you up].

Alright homies, this is where you've got to listen up.  Imma keep this real simple.  We gotta keep our friendship mutual, yo.  That means we both pick up the phone and call/ message each other.  It means that we are both actually interested in what's going on in the other person's life.  It means that sometimes you make plans and invite me and sometimes I make plans and invite you.  And when we make plans we keep 'em without having to chase the other person around like that crazy chic from Tiny Toons who just chases animals all the time, because she's just looking for some mutual love.  

See, simple.  We just gotta keep things mutual and then we'll all feel cared for, respected and joyful.   And we may even get to experience something new because our friend just invited us to (insert cool/weird activity you would've never considered on your own here). And maybe then you won't even have to take as many selfies 'cause you'll be sharing the moment with someone else.  Just saying.